What a Minga Wants

Today is Minga's birthday.  Horaay.  And as it is Minga's last year of her delicate (read: disappointing) 20's, she would like to present a list of what she would like this year to the Universe (read: life ruiner).  Please Universe, don't be a wanker this year, it's not good for your image.

What A Minga Wants:   (Because her body is saying let's go, but her heart is saying no...)

1.  Love, sex and magic (some magic is needed for the first two to occur)
2.  Her wife to not be killed by a snake, scorpion or militant Filipino.
3.  To kill off Jon Stewart's bitch of a wife and take her much deserved place.  Homewrecker.
4.  Talkback radio to be sent to the netherworlds of Hell never to return.
5.  Helen Mirren.
6.  Ugly ignorant people to stop procreating.
7.  Lifetime supply of crack cakes.
8.  Sheenghis to buy a house in London so that I can fulfil my dream of becoming a full time squatter artist who only wears brown wool cardigans whilst reading Tolstoy in the garden as Cedric Diggery serenades me with a ukulele.  
9.  To promote the ukulele because it has the word lele in it. 
10. To go to this mysterious bar in Paris with Christophe where hot bartenders bathe naked - why are all good ideas already taken?  


Come on Universe, you owe me.  April, 2009 - need I say more?  Hater.
Love Minga.