For some reason Ginga and Minga decided to spend a delightfully stormy Saturday night cooped up in some giant house in Birkenhead (Tornado central apparently). And for some reason we began talking about the 90's. This is the beginning of the conversation:
Int. Fabulous large house in Tornado-land - Night
Ginga relaxes on a chaise longue eating grapes whilst Minga perches on a rabbit-haired hammock reading 'Eat, Love, Pray'. Ginga begins to discuss the 1990's. For no reason. She declares that peachy soft focus lighting in movies was a typical feature of 90's cinema.
Ginga: Maybe the 90's in general was embalmed in this fuzzy peachy glow. In fact didn't the Body Shop have the fuzzy peach lip balm?
Minga: Oh my God, The Body Shop was proper 90's!
Ginga: Fuzzy peach, fuzzy peach lip balm
Minga: Yeah I get it
Ginga: It was like a status symbol. There was this girl at school who had various types of peach lip balm and I was extremely jealous.
Minga: I've stopped listening
Ginga: She had 10 different types of lip balm!
Minga: zzzzz
Ginga: I mean why on earth would you want that many variations of the same lip balm?
Minga: (Leaves to make some cookies and herbal hash)
Ginga: Joanna D! That was it! It was Joanna D! Why did she have so many different types of lip balm?!
And so begins our extensive (though not limited) list of what we remember about that glorious decade and what we never want to see again:
Boybands
As much as it hurts Minga to admit it, there is no more room for floppy haired, synchronised gyrating man-boys dressed in ghastly apparitions by Tommy Hilfiger, singing about bullshit love and loss.
Old brick phones
Alamak chat Oh internet, how you've changed.
Fake hair
Whole shopping malls had areas dedicated to faux hair on a scrunchie.
Minga: Did they have fake Ginga hair?
Ginga: Um, no because nobody wanted to be Ginga in the 90's. Ginga only became cool in 2003.
Minga: How salacious!
Ginga: Or did Ginga become cool once Ginga Spice came about?
Minga: That's a contradictory sentence.
Chokers
Especially the tattoo kind
The beginning of metallics, white pants, midriffs and FM boots aka Britney's entire wardrobe
Drinks like Midori, RTD's and Sambuca flaming shots - oh how rad!
Jennifer Lopez before she miracously realised she was from the block.
Armband tattoos, Chinese symbol tattoos and bellypiercings - not that we had any.
Titanic the film. For more ranting and hate go here.
Goths before Emo's
Models being Super
Surfer labels like Rip Curl and Billabong being the couture du jour for white, middle-class, obsessively boring-bound-to-end-up-married-by-age-25-with-three-kids-and-a-mortgage types.
Raves (Minga and Ginga have particularly fond memories of sneaking out of them and gulping down pure cheap vodka to become even more awesome)
The beginnings of the peudo-lesbian movement
Homie-G's (RIP Nate Dogg, may you chill and 'lax with Tupac and Biggie in the big crib in da sky - in fact the word 'da' is very 90's).
Jennifer Love Hewitt (and her astoundingly horrific music) and most bland TV turned film actors with three names as names, we're looking at you Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Chad Michael Murray (extra points for having Murray in the list), Freddie Prinze Jnr, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Geller...
Speaking of Geller, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The Twilight of last Century).
There you have it. Next time, the 00's....if we can be bothered.
Int. Fabulous large house in Tornado-land - Night
Ginga relaxes on a chaise longue eating grapes whilst Minga perches on a rabbit-haired hammock reading 'Eat, Love, Pray'. Ginga begins to discuss the 1990's. For no reason. She declares that peachy soft focus lighting in movies was a typical feature of 90's cinema.
Ginga: Maybe the 90's in general was embalmed in this fuzzy peachy glow. In fact didn't the Body Shop have the fuzzy peach lip balm?
Minga: Oh my God, The Body Shop was proper 90's!
Ginga: Fuzzy peach, fuzzy peach lip balm
Minga: Yeah I get it
Ginga: It was like a status symbol. There was this girl at school who had various types of peach lip balm and I was extremely jealous.
Minga: I've stopped listening
Ginga: She had 10 different types of lip balm!
Minga: zzzzz
Ginga: I mean why on earth would you want that many variations of the same lip balm?
Minga: (Leaves to make some cookies and herbal hash)
Ginga: Joanna D! That was it! It was Joanna D! Why did she have so many different types of lip balm?!
And so begins our extensive (though not limited) list of what we remember about that glorious decade and what we never want to see again:
Boybands
As much as it hurts Minga to admit it, there is no more room for floppy haired, synchronised gyrating man-boys dressed in ghastly apparitions by Tommy Hilfiger, singing about bullshit love and loss.
Old brick phones
Alamak chat Oh internet, how you've changed.
Fake hair
Whole shopping malls had areas dedicated to faux hair on a scrunchie.
Minga: Did they have fake Ginga hair?
Ginga: Um, no because nobody wanted to be Ginga in the 90's. Ginga only became cool in 2003.
Minga: How salacious!
Ginga: Or did Ginga become cool once Ginga Spice came about?
Minga: That's a contradictory sentence.
Chokers
Especially the tattoo kind
The beginning of metallics, white pants, midriffs and FM boots aka Britney's entire wardrobe
Drinks like Midori, RTD's and Sambuca flaming shots - oh how rad!
Jennifer Lopez before she miracously realised she was from the block.
Armband tattoos, Chinese symbol tattoos and bellypiercings - not that we had any.
Titanic the film. For more ranting and hate go here.
Goths before Emo's
Models being Super
Surfer labels like Rip Curl and Billabong being the couture du jour for white, middle-class, obsessively boring-bound-to-end-up-married-by-age-25-with-three-kids-and-a-mortgage types.
Raves (Minga and Ginga have particularly fond memories of sneaking out of them and gulping down pure cheap vodka to become even more awesome)
The beginnings of the peudo-lesbian movement
Homie-G's (RIP Nate Dogg, may you chill and 'lax with Tupac and Biggie in the big crib in da sky - in fact the word 'da' is very 90's).
Jennifer Love Hewitt (and her astoundingly horrific music) and most bland TV turned film actors with three names as names, we're looking at you Jonathon Taylor Thomas, Chad Michael Murray (extra points for having Murray in the list), Freddie Prinze Jnr, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Geller...
Speaking of Geller, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The Twilight of last Century).
There you have it. Next time, the 00's....if we can be bothered.
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