Here at Sandwich HQ we like to take the edge off writing hardcore serious pieces that have consumed our blood, sweat and tears for the past month (often resulting in various mental breakdowns, vodka binges and general aversion to people) and instead write a fun, light hearted list for pleasure - serious pleasure.
So it's the end of the year and in fact, the end of a whole damn decade. If you're unhinged like us, you would've noticed all the Top 10 lists of the Decade sprouting everywhere like unavoidable fungi. So, in wanting to be cool like the cool kids, Sandwich here has decided to join in and write our own fascinating list of The Top 10 WORST Things of the Decade. What we hope will not re-surface in the new decade, R.I.P 2000-2009
10. IPHONES/IPODS/ISUCKS
Do you honestly need to check your 405 so-called ‘friends’s status updates when you’re out having a latte? Do you even ever call people with your phone anymore?
The rate at which mobile technology is evolving is becoming practically ridiculous. The fact that other technologies are not, is alarming. Think about it. You ask a satellite from outer space to send you minute pictures of the closest Starfucks to your mobile, yet if you become blind, they still only give you a stick, guide dog and a ‘good luck’.
If that’s not bad enough, how about this for horrific: Mining for the materials needed to make mobiles (amongst other things) are often bought from rebel groups and militia in certain African nations like the DR Congo, thus helping fuel the horrendous conflicts that occur there. There is also the twisted tale of companies Nokia and Sieman’s helping the Iranian regime gather information on citizens in the post-election crackdown earlier this year. For shame mobile technology, for shame.
9. HOT PANTS
When did forgetting to wear your pants out become a fashion statement? Is this the cause of global warming in that our legs become so over heated due to the melting of the icecaps that we must wear less and less in hopes of not self combusting? Has the recession hit us so hard that we can no longer afford materials long enough to cover our entire leg thus must get the mini version for sake of financial dependency? Has showing cleavage taken a back seat and become so last century?
So many questions hotpants, so many. Yet you stay silent and infect us still with your ghastly sight. Be gone. 8. GEORGE W BUSH
Enough said.
7. SMOKING BANS
As the only sole smoker (and thus only really cool person) at Sandwich , Minga has personal beef with the above. I’m not talking about the ban on smoking inside, which makes a lot of sense, but with areas OUTSIDE, which are banned. This is not 1984 and I am not smoking crack, so give me peace. Plus I don’t appreciate overweight ugly citizens telling me that what I am doing is bad for me, whilst they chug back a lager and heart-attack breakfast. Be gone anti-smoking Nazi’s and stop attempting to horde us into smoker’s ghettos. Otherwise we will be forced to make our own nation-state by ways of illegal smoker’s settlements and smoking nukes.
