Saturday, June 12, 2010

Enemy of the Month: Justin Bieber

  
After naming some truley horrendous enemies of the month, we thought we'd ease up a little.  So Biebz, you're no Netanyahu or Pauline Hanson, but you still freak us out.
 
NAME:  Justin 'I'm Not Aaron Carter reincarnated' Bieber.

NATIONALITY:   Not German apparently.

CATEGORIES OF OFFENCE:  Hideously banal pop music about love, parties and pyschadelic acid trips.  According to a source (for real, not just existentially) when Bieber was waiting to go through hordes of over-eager teens and unimpressed airport staff in New Zealand, he refused to wait for his mother.  Our source, the Adonis looking cop, told the Beeb, 'you're waiting for your mum, mate'.  Then some kid juiced up on Ritalin stole Bieber's cap and it was all over. 

THREAT LEVEL:  OMG / WTF level.  Possibly going for world domination judging by his album name 'My World' (geniusly subtle) and above video has had 190 million hits...holy Santa Claus!  Our youth will never be the same again.  (and that is all I will say about youth, because after a 9000 word essay on that fucking topic and now this goober, I'm done with youth!).  So young, yet so deadly.

IF YOU SEE THIS ENEMY:  Don't stress, let puberty do its dirty work.

No comments:

Related Posts with Thumbnails