Another shameless plug for a Sandwich friend, Roxana Shirazi who has written a fabulously raunchy book, The Last Living Slut: Born In Iran, Bred Backstage, detailing her sex-ploitations with some rather famous rock stars. Including one loveable story involving Top Ginga nominee Axel 'no one can wear bike shorts as tight as these' Rose.
Read the interview with her here at NY Daily News. Go on buy it, she's awesome and Axel needs some press.
Since my beautiful Ginga is leaving me once again to whore herself out to the cretins of the film industry whilst possibly scoring some Third World intern, I thought it fitting to bid her farewell with a list of Top 5 Ginga's of the World.
Oh wife, you will be missed. Just a little. Then I'll get over it and forget you ever existed.
So here we go. (forgetting those self hating Ginga deniers, Lohan and Kidman we're looking at you).
5. Ron Weasley
Oh Ron, the loveable, slightly dim witted sidekick to Glady's boyfriend Harry Potter. Obviously not as molest-worthy as Schwarzkoff poster-child Cedric Diggory, nor as awesome as uber-geek Neville Longbottom, yet Ron proves that you can still be loveable after six instalments of films about kids and wands. You hear that Hermione?
4. Julianne Moore
I think this was a given. She is the Ginga Goddess of Ginger Goodness. Gingas and plebs alike bow down to her awesomeness that oozes out of every orifice. She is like a demi-God from Mount Gingompus. Sent down by Zeus, the bearded Ginge, as a sign of his master-piece in aesthetic wonders. She turns rivers into gold, hate into love, and grown mammals weep at the mere sight of her.
3. Elizabeth 1 right through to Prince Harry
Elizabeth 1 not only survived being the child of Fatty the 8th, but she reigned the British Empire for over 40 years, kicked Spain's arse and said no to marriage, all that with an impressive Ginga fro.
If you have ever visited the National Portrait Gallery in London, you will realise that all those jokes and mere musings regarding the incest that exists within Royal families, is rather true. And why would you want to breed with blonde or brunette degenerates and risk losing your magnificent Ginga genes? They didn't and right through the centuries, Ginga monarchs have ruled, right through to Prince Harry - the cool, edgy, Nazi costume wearing one. Respect.
2. The Gingerbread Man
GINGEEE!!! Three words: Gum drop buttons. Oh we heart you Gingerbread man, don't go changing (or get eaten).
1. Catherine Tate
Some of you may argue against British comedian and all-round lele, Catherine Tate being our numero uno. To that I say, no haters allowed, holla to my bitches and hoes, Tate is bringing Ginga back. Hero, saviour and hardcore advocater of Ginga rights, she is like the Karl Marx of Gingas everywhere, shouting her cries for Ginga equality, appealing to the Ginga masses for unity 'Be a ginger, not a Whinger!'.
If you need more assurance just watch the video below, or if you'd prefer to skip the pleasantries, go on and sex a Ginga here.
NAME: The US government regarding the ongoing pile of bullocks that is Guantanamo 'I'm still open?' Bay and on another racist issue, Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona.
NATIONALITY: Definitely not Hispanic nor Arab. Plus possibly not American - if certain unhinged extremists got their way regarding Obama and his 'mysterious' birth certificate. oooooohhh snap!
CATEGORIES OF OFFENCE: According to Amnesty International's new report, Obama's new rules for G Bay: Even if the defendants are found NOT GUILTY, they can still be held indefinitely. Yes, even if in a trial they are found NOT guilty, they can still be locked up. This goes against every type of democratic law that the US is supposedly signed up to. Even cockroaches on the ground are looking up gobsmacked. COCKROACHES! They have the word cock in them and they're in shock! *haemerrage Minga*.......
Ok, recovered. Moving on to Jan 'my wig still has a heartbeat' Brewer of Arizona who signed a bill regarding immigration in an attempt to stop illegal immigration. It allows police to stop people they think 'suspicious' and demand them to show their legal documents. Even Republicans John McCain and Karl Rove (who worked for BUSH) say it's wrong. BUSH!
THREAT LEVEL: High for anyone who is ethnic cuz let's face it, us coloured folk all lookalike. What's that now? Where are my papers Boss? I forgot them! Like you did with segregation, apartheid and the Third Reich. (yeah I went there, don't hate).
IF YOU SEE THIS ENEMY: As one hairy Yeti said it, may another repeat it: Minorities of the world, UNITE!!
Oh so much hatred and rage. Let's take it to one of our heroesof all time, Tina Fey. May she christen our loveable blog with her rage, we heart you Liz Lemon.
